I’ve gotten by on nothing but tolerance. & I know I can’t go off smoking every second I feel this fucking anxiety coming on but it’s the only thing that can shut me & my thoughts up. I’m hurting, and she doesn’t even seem to care. I know you’re my mom & you’re supposed to push me to do better & maybe this is your idea of support or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, but you’ve always beaten me down. Emotionally, mentally. I’m done. I can’t tell you that tho right? Because renouncing this fucking place is turning my back on all you’ve provided me with and the burdening brats you call kids. You see, that’s what pisses me off the most. You KNOW I’d do anything for you fuckers so you take advantage of that by making me feel guilty all the time that “I don’t do enough”. Bitch I do more than enough. If only you knew. If only you were the type of mom that could sit down with her kids & help talk them through their problems. But you’re not. You’re a bitch. & I thank you for making me the strong person I am today but I blame you for the weak person I was yesterday and the years before that. Please leave me alone. You don’t have to acknowledge me, just leave me alone.